Jealousy is a tricky thing. It can sneak up on us when we least expect it. I can be totally happy for someone, and proud of their success, and suddenly, I’ll feel a twinge of jealousy.
Normally, I don’t really think of myself as a jealous person. I am VERY happy (and in love) with my husband. And my kids are making me super proud every day!
My husband and I both have great jobs and wonderful co-workers. We’ve been able to use our resources from these jobs to bless our family and other people. I have some amazing friends and family, I love my Jesus and my church. Overall I have a pretty blessed life.
(Disclaimer- this post may contain affiliate links. If you choose to purchase from one of these links, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you. All advice given is my own opinion and cannot be used as a substitute for consulting a medical or mental health professional. For more information, please view my disclaimer link page here.)
Why do I Get Jealous of Other People?
In order to learn how to stop being jealous, we need to figure out why we do it. Why do we become jealous of other people? There are two main reasons for our jealousy.
Being Jealous of Other People’s Success
When thinking of how to stop being jealous, I have to realize what makes me jealous in the first place. And one reason I become jealous is other people’s success. These successes make me look at myself, and realize I’m still doing the same old thing in my life.
Sometimes it can be a small success. Like when one of my best friends in the whole world always looks 110% put together, and I often do not. A small little pang of jealousy enters my brain.
At other times, I see the career success other people have, and the jealousy starts again. And it’s not like I’m not happy for them because I am! I’m proud and excited for anyone that reaches a goal. They’ve worked hard for it and strived their guts out to accomplish something. In no way would I ever want to take that away from them.
Jealousy Can Also Come From Fear
Another place jealousy comes from is fear. When I’m afraid, I want to hold everything close to me that is important in my life. Our fears often come from realizing we aren’t in control. This lack of control can make us jealous. We want to take the control back!
When I focus on how to stop being jealous, I often think of my children. Raising children is an excellent example of jealousy that comes from fear! It’s hard to know what will happen as our children grow older. That fear can make us what to hold tight and never let anything happen to those we love.
What does the Bible say About Jealousy?
As I said earlier, being jealous of others often comes from wanting what they have, and fear of losing what we love the most. So when thinking of how to stop being jealous, it’s a good idea to look at what God says about jealousy.
Jealousy Doesn’t Show God’s Love
When talking about how to stop being jealous, one of the first things we can focus on is God’s love. No one can be jealous of someone else and really love them. As Christians, we are called to love one another.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” (1 Corinthians 13:4) When we are showing God’s love, we should work to stop being jealous of others.
You Can’t Be Jealous and Follow God’s Will
1 Corinthians 3:3 says it perfectly, “You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans?”
If I’m jealous of someone, I am not acting like a Christian. God has called me to a higher standard of love for all people.
How Can I Stop Being Jealous?
So what can we do to learn how to stop being jealous? It’s a daily struggle for many people, and it’s a huge one for me. Here are five tips I’ve used to help me work on not being jealous.
Look Back on Your Accomplishments
For starters, one way to help you learn how to stop being jealous is by focusing on your achievements. Realizing how far you’ve come is a great way to overcome jealousy!
Maybe you’ve tried a new exercise class, and you didn’t fall over dead before it ended. That’s so awesome! Write it down. Starting martial arts classes was a wonderful achievement for me and my family.
What if you earned a new degree or certification. Or maybe you landed an interview for your dream job? Those are all worthy of being added to your achievements list.
Write Down your Blessings to Stop Being Jealous
Being grateful is a much-needed step in learning how to stop being jealous! People that are grateful for what they have tended to be less jealous of others. Find a journal or notebook, and take some time each week to write down your blessings. They can be as simple as having a good hair day to as huge as your child getting a college scholarship!
Whenever you can see as a blessing in your life, you won’t feel the need to be jealous of others as strongly as it was before. Writing them down will not only remind you of more blessings, but it will make them feel more tangible to you as well.
I recently purchased the Living Well Planner from Ruth Soukup, and I am LOVING it! One of my favorite pages each month is the “Thoughts & Thanks” page. It’s the perfect place to write down everything you’re thankful for in your life. This planner has so many awesome features, but this one is the best for helping to instill a grateful heart.
Give Generously to Stop Feeling Jealous (H3)
Being generous is another cure for jealousy. You can’t be jealous of what other people have if you are able to give willingly from what you have. This is another great way to learn how to stop being jealous of others!
Several years ago, Chris and I decided to make our tithe the top part of our monthly budget. At that time, it was scary. We had more bills than we could foreseeably take care of with our salaries. But we felt the pull to give more to our church and the ministries it provides. So, we started giving a fourth of our monthly pay in the offering each week.
Like I said before, it was SCARY! But after making this commitment, the Lord provided the money we needed to make all of our Erin Condren LifePlanner™” target=”_blank” rel=”noreferrer noopener nofollow”>by-monthly bill in our budget. That way, we know God is getting the firstfruits of our labor. Being blessed enough to give has helped us learn to be less jealous of other people!
Spending time with God is an Awesome Way to Learn How to Stop Being Jealous
I’ve found that setting apart a prayer and Bible reading helps my attitude in soooooo many ways! When my attitude is better, it’s much easier to remember how to stop being jealous.
After trying out a few different schedules, I have found that first thing in the morning is the best option for me to spend time with God. I brew some coffee, kick back in my recliner, and open my Bible App on my phone. After reading a selected devotional and scripture, I spend the next few minutes in prayer.
Developing a relationship with God has transformed my jealous attitude! A few years ago, I often felt jealous of my family and friends for the slightest thing. After consistently spending time with God every day, I’ve become more focused on all He has done for me. Realizing all the blessings I’ve been given makes it almost impossible to be jealous of others!
Turn Your Jealousy Over to God (H2)
Giving your jealousy over to God goes along with writing down your blessings and achievements. After writing them down, be sure to add them to your daily prayer time. By thanking God for your blessings and also recognizing His hand in your achievements, you’re giving him the praise He desires. And by sharing your goals in prayer, you are allowing God to have control over your life.
What do you do when you find yourself being jealous? I would love to hear how you break the grip of jealousy. Shoot me an email or leave a comment below. And don’t forget to visit my Resource Page! You can find printable coloring sheets and productivity resources too.
Have a blessed day,